THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UNDIES...

THE GOOD

I have reported several times on this blog -- and many times to anyone crazy enough to stand still long enough for me to begin my tirade -- that designers of quality knitwear for men and, to a lesser extent women, were an extinct race. My opinion was based on extensive observation and a thorough review of current literature. (Someone occasionally leaves copies of Vogue, Elle, Vanity Fair and GQ in our lunch room.)

Are you sitting down?

I was wrong.

Designers of quality knits are not extinct, just mighty, mighty rare. Still on the endangered list, to be sure, but I know for a fact they exist. For evidence of this shocking revelation one need look no further than to the Fall/Winter '07 Perry Ellis collection. With this sublime collection Jerry Kaye, Perry Ellis' creative director, ascends to the pantheon of immortal designers.

A man more erudite than I would look at these photos and wax poetic about cables, ocean spray, hay rack rides, classic looks, masculine lines, seductive silhouettes, etc. They might even throw in words like transcendence or captivating or yummy. Me? I have two words.

Me likey.


Me likey, likey, likey the sweater pictured above. And below. And the one after that. And the one after that. And so on. They are are, for lack of more eloquent words, magically delicious.





THE BAD

What on earth was Cathy Pill thinking? It looks like this woman is walking down a runway wearing the Great Pumpkin's uterus.

Judging from her bony chest, the waif weighs all of 73 pounds and possibly had her arms removed to loose the last 8 pesky pounds. As impossible as it seems, Cathy Pill has managed to send this stick figure down a runway in the only sweater on earth that could make her look like a fatty boombalatty. (I'm hearing Tim Gunn's voice in my head..."But Nina, I wanted her to look like she had a big fat ass!") Someone should buy this poor girl a french fry and report Cathy Pill to The Hague, cuz' this thing is a crime against humanity.

THE UNDIES

Just so no one thinks I am on the Perry Ellis payroll (though Jerry, my good man, I could use a new Aran in an XXL!) I present the following.

The mystical qualities of the balance of the collection aside, no one can be "on" all the time, and man, oh man, were they off on this one. Did someone steal his pants? Tell me -- do you know anyone who, when putting together an ensemble, would consider stepping out of the house wearing a cardie, a pair of long underwear, and a pair of suede bucks? I'm sure his mother told him to aways wear clean undies, but I'm also fairly certain she meant under trousers, not in lieu of them. Isn't he afraid his bits are going to poke out the y-front? (Although, given the bunchy, baggy thing going on in front, maybe the model was...um...cold. Hasn't anyone at Perry Ellis watched the Shrinkage episode of Seinfeld?)



Anyway, while the shoes match the sweater in a way that gives me goose bumps, this guy is still walking around in his undies.


IN CLOSING

Thanks to Franklin, I have found a new way to occupy my (almost nonexistent) free time. I've been cataloguing my books using librarything.com. And, thanks to librarything, I have added the nifty little voyeur doodad on the sideboard that gives you a random look at books in my collection.

MORE MUCK FROM MILAN

My friend Macarena sent me the first pic of the post, excited as she is over the prospect of leggings for men. Although I am sure payback is among her top motives, I can't help but wonder if she isn't also interesting in seeing a guys kibbles and bits! I am not a fan of dress shoes without socks, so when I look at this picture all I can think is that they sell socks 6 pair for $10 at Target.

And then we have this lovely creation from Fendi. I don't know what to say. Except that I don't know that I would have put a capelet with a business suit. And it makes the model look like Julie Andrews. Do you think there is a large market for clothing that makes 21 year old boys look like a 65 year old woman trying to look like a 21 year old boy? Oh gosh, if Little Old Lady become a chic look for men, people are gonna start asking me for fashion tips.


IO didn't have to go far to find evidence of my assertion that designers were running small this year. And is it just me, or does the eye makeup make him look like his eyes are looking in different directions?


Etro has jumped onto the Bucket Hat Bandwagon with gusto. Except I fear he might have lifted the design from a famous movie character.



You decide.
Yes, it seems as if Etro is bound and determined to beat the life out of the felted bucket hat if it is the last thing he does. What on earth could this guy be carrying in that bag? Clean straw?

I have to say, I really, really like the rest of this guys outfit...nasty, ugly, repetitive hat notwithstanding. Me likey the sweater, the vest and the scarf.


And this practically had me clapping at my computer. Isn't this the cutest idea. And when the show is over, no one has to rush to catch a flight!

I'D RATHER GO NAKED

Ever since a friend of mine "bought" a designer in the mid-90's, I've followed fashion weeks in the various fashion centers with interest. I particularly keep my eye out for interesting or promising knitwear for men.

Or really ugly knitwear.

Milan fashion week gave me lots of the latter, but very little of the former.


I'm not sure what Byblos was going for when he designed this, but it's like he was costuming a musical adaptation of a cross between Spamalot and Barbarella. It's a white, knit balaclava with a brim and a breasplate.

Roen's Fall/Winter collection brought us this which, despite the frilly cuffs, is my favorite piece to come out Milan this year. The proportions are fresh,the oversized sillouette is in sharp contrast to many designers who seem to be throwing clothes on models that are 2 sizes too small. And, while I generally prefer to wear black and grey, the earthy brown is easy on the eyes.


If Romeo Gigli is to be believed, this is the year of the bucket hat.


Well, you GO, Girl. Get down with your bad self. Karma, Karma, Karma, Karma, Karma Chameleon... And they say drag is dead.


This has absolutely NOTHING to do with knitwear, but what, for the love of Dog, was Byblos thinking? From the front the model looks like a pudgy investment banker in a bulletproof vest, from the back he looks like a nelly cop with a patent leather purse. (Though I assume he's on his way to the market, with such a big basket.) And what, praytell, could those buttons be for? A braille map to his erogenous zones? I think the designer had some personal skore to settle with the model, 'cuz you have to work pretty hard to make a muffin like this look so fat.

Let me end on a positive note.


I don't really know what Dolce & Gabbana are selling here, but I don't doubt there are a lot of willing buyers.

I WANT TO, BUT I CAN'T

I recently downloaded ABC's hit comedy Ugly Betty from iTunes, and started making my way through the episodes. I really, really want to like Ugly Betty. I really do. I loved The Devil Wears Prada, and I live for Project Runway, and nobody loves a snappy retort better than I. But I can't love it. I can't. And here are the reasons why:

1. It makes me tense. I swear, I've had to stop each episode at least 5 times each because I am already emotionally invested enough in Miss Betty Suarez that I can't stand the thought of something bad happening to her. (I remember not liking Gomer Pyle at the age of 4 for exactly the same reason. I used to complain that Sarge should stop yelling at Gomer.) I don't watch much television, but when I do, I gravitate to shows like The West Wing where the characters are smart and funny and not out to hurt one another.

2. I don't like mean girls. And this show has entirely too many of them. Everywhere you look, there's another mean girl. I swear to dog, there are more mean girls on one episode than in my high school senior class, which had 85 girls and 9 guys. (I was in the first co-ed class at a 125 year old prep school. 82 of the girls were mean.)

If Ugly Betty were my only New York point of reference, I would be certain that 9 out of 10 women in New York were plastic, premenstrual, anorexic barracudas. But having lived there, I know that the number is more like 6 out of 10.


3. Vanessa Williams gives me the wiggins. Those unfortunate naughty pictures aside, I always though Vanessa Williams was sweat and good...like a Disney star. But my, how she's changed. I think it is safe to say she isn't going to be bursting into "Colors of the Wind" on this series. She's completely without a soul. I honestly didn't recognize her -- they've got her so angloed-up, I thought it was a white Episcopalian woman who needed to take a few steps away from the spray tan. But it really is Vanessa Williams. And would someone please tell me just how many black women are there named Wilhelmina? (Also, having seen those naughty pictures of Vanessa, one thing is obvious...she can now afford a good wax.)

4. Is it just me, or is this show WAY too much like Desperate Housewives? It's got anorexic Latinas, manipulative fathers, private investigators, missing persons...all it's missing is arson. Even the music and camerawork reminds me of DH. Which isn't necessarily a good thing. Nor is it necessarily a bad thing. I'm just saying...




I want to state for the record that the show has some really big things going for it. America Ferrara is amazing as Betty Suarez. I love her. (I do want to know why she spends her nights with curlers in her hair when it obviously isn't helping her, but I know that sometimes you need to let art flow over you rather than question every little thing. But still...hasn't she heard of hot rollers or a curling iron?) But I love her. She represents everything that is good and true and loyal and stellar in the world. I wish she could come over and make empenadas. (Personally, I like spicy beef and olive.)


I also love, love, love Ashley Jensen who plays Christina. I love her voice -- reminiscent of peat and pipe tobacco -- and I love her accent, and I would pay good money just to listen to this Scottish lass read from the phone book. I melt just thinking about it.

I still have 10 episodes to watch, but I don't know if my heart can take it. I'm pretty sure it's causing a spike in my blood pressure. They are just so MEAN on this show.

ON ANOTHER SUBJECT ALTOGETHER


I found this picture on the wires -- I'm not kidding...this was in a Prada's fall/winter collection at Milan's fashion week. Is it just me, or does this sweater make him look pregnant? I could write 500 words about the dearth of talented men's knitwear designers, but really, after this picture, it would just be overkill.