Friday, December 28, 2007

ABSOLUTELY UNIMPORTANT DRIVVEL

OK. My vacation ends in four days. I return to work on my 44th birthday. I'm actually looking forward to getting back in a way -- I don't like to be away for too long.

But I'm sad. You see, I sort of promised my wife and my physician that, at the New Year, I would make some diet and lifestyle changes which will, hopefully, result in a healthier me. (I swear, umpteen-thousand dollars spent on high tech brain imaging and neuro-psych evaluations and dog knows what else, and all I have in way of a definitive diagnosis is that I am "morbidly obese". I questioned my doctor..."Morbidly?" asks I. "Oh, yeah" says Doogie Houser, M.D.

Now, he admits that this isn't what is causing my health problems, but I think he figures this dieting and exercise will keep me distracted while he tries to figure the rest of my stuff out at a nice leisurely pace. I would say he is wrong, but one of my problems is memory loss, so I probably will be easily distracted. Could you all remind me to take the wind out of his sales once in a while?

So I have only 5 days left to cook and eat what I wish. (I am NOT starting the dieting shit on my birthday and you can't make me!) I am panicking. After a long internal discussion, I've decided on a devil's food cake with 7-minute-icing for Saturday. My grandmother used to make that for me. And I think on Sunday I will make some hand rolled Chinese dumplings. I love me some potstickers. (I have to make them out of chicken because Myfanwe doesn't allow pork int he house.) Maybe Monday I'll make apple pancakes -- the bigass brown buttery caramel ones from the Original Pancake House! You know the ones. I have a great recipe...I make them just a little less sweet and they are ever so much better. Yum.

And somewhere in my day I am going to have to squeeze in a trip to the gym. And Myfanwe is going to say things like -- no you can't take it out of house cleaning time. You can take it out of knitting time. And then I'll have to hate her for an hour or two because she doesn't even TRY to understand how important knitting is.

Well, you can't say I didn't warn you that this post would be without import. But you read it anyway. Thanks for listening.

7 comments:

anne marie in philly said...

I'll be right over to help you partake of that fabu feast!

oh, wait...I live in philly...you live in chicago...where it's snowing...lots of snow...never mind...

I am 10 years older than you and also on the large side, but so were all my mother's relatives and they lived into their 90s. so I intend to make it to 100 and damn the torpedos! I eat what I please and ignore the medical profession who want to feed me pills.

be as beautiful as you feel, aiden! have a happy 2008 AND a wonderful birthday!

Michelle said...

Here's your solution - ready?

Recumbent bike. You can knit while you pedal!

:-D

craftycat said...

Oh honey I so feel for you. I was having memory loss problems and some other things and went to a wonderful natureopathic doctor who studied under Andrew Weil. We found I was lacking in some of the *tonins and she gave me a few things including a high DHA which is pure fish oil. It really seems to be helping. Not sure if you are into N.D.s but it might be an idea.

Hugs!!!
P.S. if you are I strongly recommend going to the ND org. site and get your recommendations there.

Knit-Knot said...

I don't if they have given you a referral to a dietician or not but you should ask for one. it really help my mother.

Some years ago I decided that I wanted to stop my 'growing' trend. We have a diabetic history in my family as well, so I knew I needed to cut down sweets.

Anyway - long story short, I removed all soda from my diet, cut back on all refined carbs (potatoes pasta and breads) and I only eat baked goods if I made them, and then only one, switched to whole grains and make an effort to avoid high fructose corn sugar and added more protein.

That and walking two or three days a week and I lost 20 lbs the first year. It wasn't even really hard, I don't miss the soda and with baked stuff - I make what I like and I can have some so I don't stress about it so much.

I will admit that I really only needed to lose 30 lbs. So I wasn't looking at a big deal. But I have managed to maintain the loss (within about 5 lbs) for 4 years. But it was all simple things.

Cherice said...

I second the recumbent bike. It's kinda like exercising in a recliner and you can knit while pedaling.

Have a happy birthday, happy 2008 and as Anne Marie in Philly said so well...be as beautiful as you feel.

=Tamar said...

Did they do a sleep test? I know two people who told me that once they got the CPAP machine and had some real rest, their metabolisms normalized and they took off some of the weight.

Ted said...

Get a copy of "MindLess Eating" by Brian Wansink. Amazing book. http://www.mindlesseating.org/

If you are going to go to a gym and work with a trainer (which I recommend: accountability is a useful thing), get one who has successfully worked with people over the age of 40. The 20-something year old studs who've never carried more than 10% bodyfat and have always been athletic just don't get it. You need an "ability appropriate" exercise program, and you should be prepared to work and sweat.

Watch the simple carbs (and high fructose corn syrup), and learn about the Glycemic Index.

We can cheer-on each other.