WHY WE HAVE TO SAY NO

What follows is a distillation of the top entertainment headlines today:

• Actress Kirsten Dunst checkis into Rehab
• Kevin Federlin Scraps Reality Show Plans Due to Britney Chaos
• TMS is LIVE at Britney's House in Bev Hills
• Lufti's New Publicist Makes No Sense
• Hugh Heffner, Holly Madison Trying for Kids (OK -- that in not only offensive gossip, it is also gross.)
• Brit's Family to Wasser: Come Back!
• Sam has NOT Been Served
• A Day in the Life of a Trainwreck
• Is That Posh Actually Talking?
• J.Lo is HUUUUUGE!
• Ledger Death a lesson
• Spears' Parents Believe Britney's Life at Risk
• Michael Jackson Coughs Up $$$ in Taxes on Neverland
• Ex-Miss Nevada USA Katie Rees Released From jail
• Ledger's Death Highlights Prescription Drug Issues
• Britney Leaves Hospital; Parents 'Fear for Her Life'
• Brandy's Mom: Kim Kardashian, Siblings Had Chance to Avoid Litigation
• Buzz Briefs: Ex-Miss nevada, Lohan
• Spears Released from UCLA Hospital
• Accidental Overdose Killed Ledger
• DeMornay's Attorney Enters No-Contest Pleas to DUI Charge
• LAPD on Britney Spears Case

Doesn't that make you spit up a little?

Guess what! National Say No to Lies Week (my very own invention) is February 10 through February 16. Join me in saying no to people who prey on and take pleasure in the misfortune of other. Be sure to tell your friends -- have them swear off, too! Because if people of conscience band together, we CAN win the Truth Wars against the Gossip Whores!

I CAN'T HELP MYSELF...

The whole sordid mess that surrounded the unseemly life and untimely death of Anna Nicole Smith made me sad and embarrassed for her. What a depressing, empty life. I never, in a million years, thought I would ever post about it.

But then I saw this picture of her mother, Virgie Arthur.

I think I can hear the squeak of the polyester pant suit from here. This woman looks like she could hunt bear with a switch. She doesn't make me think she's grieving an unimaginable loss. She looks like she'd bite the head off of anyone who stood between her and a buck-ninety-five. I have no problem believing her daughter wanted nothing to do with her.

Also, doesn't she look like Paul Sorvino in drag? Well, except for the fact that, even with his well-known acting skills, Paul Sorvino has never looked that mean. And he's thinner. And the bags under his eyes are smaller. And he doesn't have that stubble problem above his lips.

Lets face it. Paul Sorvino is far more feminine the Virgie Arthur.


Sorry, Paul. If it's any consolation, I loved you in The Bakers Wife. You totally got rogered out of a Tony.