Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Because I Don't Like You.

(Note: In consideration of, if not compliance with, The Pearl Principles, names have been changed to protect the guilty.)

There is this woman I know, Darla, who really ticks me off. She goes to a Stitch n Bitch I used to attend. I'm not exaggerating -- I would rather stay home and stick hat pins in my thigh than have to attend the SnB when she is there.

One of the (many) things that I don't like about Darla is that she is an unnecessary yarn snob. She will brag about the brand and price of every yarn she knits. I have actually heard her tell people knitting on an inexpensive yarn that she wouldn't be caught dead knitting with cheap yarn such as theirs. I kid you not -- if you tell her that you just found out that a friend of yours has cancer, she will find a way to steer the conversation back to how expensive her yarn is and how much better it is than yours. (This has happened.) That was almost offensive as the time she told a woman who was crocheting a shawl that she thought crochet would be a good skill to teach retarded people.

And I swear to Dog, if I have to hear about her trips to Europe (always as if Europe was a country, not a continent) one more time, the hat pins are going to be used for a trans-orbital lobotomy. (Don't ask if the lobotomy is for her or me -- I've not decided yet.)

I don't believe writing this violates the Pearl Principles. I know for a fact that this woman won't read what I'm writing. When I mentioned something I'd posted on this blog, she said, "Oh, I never read blogs. They are all written by stupid people -- if these people knew what they were doing, they wouldn't be giving it away."

And even if she read this, she wouldn't know it was her. I could read it to her myself and she would ask me if she knew the person. She is that oblivious.

Because of this woman, I stopped attending one of my SnBs. I really miss it. I miss my friends. My Bitches are important to me. But I did not and would not and could not have even a moment of fun if this woman was there.

Writing this won't do anything, I understand. It certainly won't change Darla's personality. It isn't going to make me find her less offensive. And I doubt it will even make me feel any better. I'm not exactly sure why I wrote it. Except that you all are great people and sometimes talking to you makes me feel loads better.

(I miss my friend, Hugs, who would have known what to do with this woman. His solution would have started with a bag of Sacrete and ended with a pack of cigarettes and a micro-brew, but he would have know exactly what to do. Hugs, dearest -- you are missed.)

Now I think I'll go clear my mind and knit on the Prayer Shawl for a little while. It will be good to think positive thoughts.


Anonymous said...

Oh, what a shame you have to miss out on your friends! Does anyone else feel as you do? Perhaps you can start a new group without her? Or go to the group after taking some of that left over pain medication you got from the dentist?

CC Mary

Moorecat said...

Aidan, you can feel better by realising that Darla will never know the joy the knitter receives from knitting a prayer shawl.

Sinking a little lower, can you infect some pricy yarn with m*ths then give it to her to take home and spread to the rest of her stash?

BertandFelix said...

I am having a similar problem with my knitting group. There is this woman who is just miserable. She also teaches at the shop. Every time someone would help another knitter, she would give her 2 cents and usually it contradicts what was said earlier. I am tired of it and decided not to go anymore. So sad.

Thanks for letting me vent too!! Knitting shouldn't be like that either. Knitters should be nice and not competitive.

Sherrill said...

'tis difficult to deal with those rude/crude people with rhinocerous hide. Distance seems the only weapon, but then you punish yourself with the loss of other, more amiable souls.
Glad to see you are back, please keep the blog going. You do have readers and admirers, even if they (I) do not often comment.
Sherrill in Portland OR

Diane said...

I'm shocked no one has taken a double point, walked in front of her, and "accidently" tripped stabbing her. Some people are just miserable with limited people skills. Maybe you could all gang up and her and every time she opens her mouth call her on the carpet.

"Mary's friend has cancer. Who gives a crap about your yarn?" or maybe a Saturday Night Live, "Why Darla, you ignorant slut. Europe is not a country."

mc78 said...

Damn, it's me. Sorry I've been putting on airs at the SNB.

anne marie in philly said...

I have a "cc" in my group (constant complainer). somebody is always out to get her/screw her over/etc. etc. etc.

thank the FSM she shows up only once every 3-4 months (she comes in late too - wheeee!) time without her is like heaven.

sometimes it's good just to vent.

Leslie said...

Why don't you just go on back to that SnB group and when this beach shows up treat her as you would any inopportune child? "That's lovely about your yarn, Darla, but we were discussing Mary's friend". "I'm so happy you can spend your money that way, Darla, but we were discussing the local election." "Gee, Darla, that's grand yarn but we're discussing my sex life here" -- I think you get the idea. My bet is more people in the SnB would join in and get the idea without your having to say a word.

Callie Karen said...

Oh, I'm so sorry that you had to leave your SnB! Sometimes you just have to sit by her with your "tacky, sharp, aluminum dpns" and "nudge" her. (By nudge, I mean...cough...poke....:) Oh, my! I don't know what came over me!

I do want to say that I absolutely love your prayer shawl! It's absolutely gorgeous, and I can tell you have put a lot of time into it!

I came across your blog through the Midwest Knitting blog ring, I'm still waiting to be approved :) Just wanted to say "hey!" And, that I hope everything works out at your SnB :) Hey if you need me to, I'll come up with my Susan Bates needles and acrylic yarn :) (I used to live in the south for awhile, so I've learned that whole "how to be a polite lady, while still having your claws sharpened."

Sorry for the long comment!

~Callie Karen

mehitabel said...

We had one like that in our SnB. So some of us moved on, moved away. All the people I really like moved with us, so it worked out. But I do love some of the s uggestions, especially Leslie's! (Our passive-aggressive witch would buy good yarn, then knit with crap, and complain that she couldn't make things "the right way.") Gaaah!