WE HAVE A WINNER!

AND I'M STILL A BAD PERSON, SO YOU PROBABLY DON'T WANT TO READ ANY FURTHER...


As an avid knitter, I peruse the feeds from Fashion Week, paying particular attention to the knitwear in every collection. I like to figure out how it was made, if it was hand knit or machine made, and if it was particularly inventive or skillful. Lots of times I am disappointed -- either by the lack of knitwear or the thoroughly pedestrian stuff designers will send out on a model or by the inability of designers to design something that looks good on the human figure.

As I was watching the Chado Ralph Rucci collection, on piece caught my eye. I thought the long knit panel down the front was interesting, and the shrug-like sleeve looked quite fun. It wasn't until I saw a closeup from the back that I recognized the incredible skill that went into making this design, and I hereby bow to its creator.

I am completely in awe. look at the detail. Look at the shaping. Look at how, even at the bottom edge of the garment, where structure is important, Rucci is able to add structure without making it heavy or clunky. Look at how it drapes on the model. ..and how the "v" of the lacing is mirrored in the inverted "v" in the shrug. Look at the knot of hair. Oh, I'm just all gushy.

Just so no one thinks I've gone soft, the following picture made me so happy, I almost wet myself. Again, it's like Christmas. Only this time, instead of a model picking up the shoe, some woman who looked a lot like Diana Ross jumped up on the runway and picked it up.



OK, the resemblance is minimal. Granted, the woman doesn't look like the "Do You Know Where You're Goin' To..." Theme from Mahogany Diana Ross. But if you squint a little, she does looks like the arrested in Connecticut, drunk driving, grocery shopping Ross. Her last album got so little notice, maybe this is what she's doing for attention these days. If so, she should comb her hair.

COWLS & HOWLS

COWLS

Michael Kors, Project Runway's answer to Simon Cowell, presented a lovely collection during NY Fashion Week at Bryant Park. Aside from there being a lot of fur, my quibbles are few. But not nonexistent.

Call me sexist, but, much like bustiers, thongs, or miniskirts, the cowl works better on women than on men.

Maybe it's the combination of the belted coat and the cowl, but the outfit makes the model look effete. And I don't think the fabrics of the jacket and the trousers go well together.


Now HERE the cowl works well. I think it makes her look warm and inquisitive and cuddly. And the rest of the outfit is lovely as well. Reminiscent of Anne Welles. (Does anyone get the VOTD reference?) As usual, I want to buy this poor, starving girl a chocolate bar, but the outfit is flawless.

My first thought on seeing the picture above was that the guy looked like a big, walking penis. Uncircumcised. Then I noticed the coat. Lovely. I'm not so sure about the scarf/sash thingy, though, but lovely. Too bad about the foreskin, though.

The gentleman above looks as if he is being eaten by mutant knitwear. Which is a shame, as, again, the coat he is wearing is quite nice.

HOWLS

My first response upon see the above photo? "What will $50 get me, Hooker Smurf?" I'm pretty sure she's looking for Daddy Smurf!

Could this dress be any less flattering? This woman looks like an anorexic socialite accidentally stumbled onto the runway after a 3 martini breakfast. Do you think a fifth of vodka (or bourbon, or Scotch for that matter) would fit in that handbag? Or maybe a barf bag? I'm sure that would come in handy. Krikey.

THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UNDIES...

THE GOOD

I have reported several times on this blog -- and many times to anyone crazy enough to stand still long enough for me to begin my tirade -- that designers of quality knitwear for men and, to a lesser extent women, were an extinct race. My opinion was based on extensive observation and a thorough review of current literature. (Someone occasionally leaves copies of Vogue, Elle, Vanity Fair and GQ in our lunch room.)

Are you sitting down?

I was wrong.

Designers of quality knits are not extinct, just mighty, mighty rare. Still on the endangered list, to be sure, but I know for a fact they exist. For evidence of this shocking revelation one need look no further than to the Fall/Winter '07 Perry Ellis collection. With this sublime collection Jerry Kaye, Perry Ellis' creative director, ascends to the pantheon of immortal designers.

A man more erudite than I would look at these photos and wax poetic about cables, ocean spray, hay rack rides, classic looks, masculine lines, seductive silhouettes, etc. They might even throw in words like transcendence or captivating or yummy. Me? I have two words.

Me likey.


Me likey, likey, likey the sweater pictured above. And below. And the one after that. And the one after that. And so on. They are are, for lack of more eloquent words, magically delicious.





THE BAD

What on earth was Cathy Pill thinking? It looks like this woman is walking down a runway wearing the Great Pumpkin's uterus.

Judging from her bony chest, the waif weighs all of 73 pounds and possibly had her arms removed to loose the last 8 pesky pounds. As impossible as it seems, Cathy Pill has managed to send this stick figure down a runway in the only sweater on earth that could make her look like a fatty boombalatty. (I'm hearing Tim Gunn's voice in my head..."But Nina, I wanted her to look like she had a big fat ass!") Someone should buy this poor girl a french fry and report Cathy Pill to The Hague, cuz' this thing is a crime against humanity.

THE UNDIES

Just so no one thinks I am on the Perry Ellis payroll (though Jerry, my good man, I could use a new Aran in an XXL!) I present the following.

The mystical qualities of the balance of the collection aside, no one can be "on" all the time, and man, oh man, were they off on this one. Did someone steal his pants? Tell me -- do you know anyone who, when putting together an ensemble, would consider stepping out of the house wearing a cardie, a pair of long underwear, and a pair of suede bucks? I'm sure his mother told him to aways wear clean undies, but I'm also fairly certain she meant under trousers, not in lieu of them. Isn't he afraid his bits are going to poke out the y-front? (Although, given the bunchy, baggy thing going on in front, maybe the model was...um...cold. Hasn't anyone at Perry Ellis watched the Shrinkage episode of Seinfeld?)



Anyway, while the shoes match the sweater in a way that gives me goose bumps, this guy is still walking around in his undies.


IN CLOSING

Thanks to Franklin, I have found a new way to occupy my (almost nonexistent) free time. I've been cataloguing my books using librarything.com. And, thanks to librarything, I have added the nifty little voyeur doodad on the sideboard that gives you a random look at books in my collection.

MORE MUCK FROM MILAN

My friend Macarena sent me the first pic of the post, excited as she is over the prospect of leggings for men. Although I am sure payback is among her top motives, I can't help but wonder if she isn't also interesting in seeing a guys kibbles and bits! I am not a fan of dress shoes without socks, so when I look at this picture all I can think is that they sell socks 6 pair for $10 at Target.

And then we have this lovely creation from Fendi. I don't know what to say. Except that I don't know that I would have put a capelet with a business suit. And it makes the model look like Julie Andrews. Do you think there is a large market for clothing that makes 21 year old boys look like a 65 year old woman trying to look like a 21 year old boy? Oh gosh, if Little Old Lady become a chic look for men, people are gonna start asking me for fashion tips.


IO didn't have to go far to find evidence of my assertion that designers were running small this year. And is it just me, or does the eye makeup make him look like his eyes are looking in different directions?


Etro has jumped onto the Bucket Hat Bandwagon with gusto. Except I fear he might have lifted the design from a famous movie character.



You decide.
Yes, it seems as if Etro is bound and determined to beat the life out of the felted bucket hat if it is the last thing he does. What on earth could this guy be carrying in that bag? Clean straw?

I have to say, I really, really like the rest of this guys outfit...nasty, ugly, repetitive hat notwithstanding. Me likey the sweater, the vest and the scarf.


And this practically had me clapping at my computer. Isn't this the cutest idea. And when the show is over, no one has to rush to catch a flight!

I'D RATHER GO NAKED

Ever since a friend of mine "bought" a designer in the mid-90's, I've followed fashion weeks in the various fashion centers with interest. I particularly keep my eye out for interesting or promising knitwear for men.

Or really ugly knitwear.

Milan fashion week gave me lots of the latter, but very little of the former.


I'm not sure what Byblos was going for when he designed this, but it's like he was costuming a musical adaptation of a cross between Spamalot and Barbarella. It's a white, knit balaclava with a brim and a breasplate.

Roen's Fall/Winter collection brought us this which, despite the frilly cuffs, is my favorite piece to come out Milan this year. The proportions are fresh,the oversized sillouette is in sharp contrast to many designers who seem to be throwing clothes on models that are 2 sizes too small. And, while I generally prefer to wear black and grey, the earthy brown is easy on the eyes.


If Romeo Gigli is to be believed, this is the year of the bucket hat.


Well, you GO, Girl. Get down with your bad self. Karma, Karma, Karma, Karma, Karma Chameleon... And they say drag is dead.


This has absolutely NOTHING to do with knitwear, but what, for the love of Dog, was Byblos thinking? From the front the model looks like a pudgy investment banker in a bulletproof vest, from the back he looks like a nelly cop with a patent leather purse. (Though I assume he's on his way to the market, with such a big basket.) And what, praytell, could those buttons be for? A braille map to his erogenous zones? I think the designer had some personal skore to settle with the model, 'cuz you have to work pretty hard to make a muffin like this look so fat.

Let me end on a positive note.


I don't really know what Dolce & Gabbana are selling here, but I don't doubt there are a lot of willing buyers.