I very much appreciate your restrained response to my current situation and your gentle exhortations to finish what is a less-than-enjoyable task which, once completed, will open the door to countless hours of enjoyment.
(If anyone can diagram that sentence, could you please scan your diagram and e-mail it to me?)
If you would indulge me further, I would like the opportunity to restate and clarify one point.
The fault for any confusion is entirely my own. As the philosopher Emo Phillips teaches, "Ambiguity is the devil's volleyball." So when I wrote "I left my knitting -- all three WIPs -- at the office...", what I meant to say was, "I left my knitting -- all three WIPs including the dogforsaken, mothra-freakin' lace I was going to rip back before I can start anything even vaguely approaching interesting -- at the office."
Again, for your grammarians out there, diagrams would be appreciated.
I contemplated your underlying message, however, and took to heart your advise. I live a mere 10 minutes from my office. I have a key. I am neither disabled or under house arrest. I am a strong, confident woman. Or something like that. No "awfulizing and catastrophizing" here. So after lunch today I am going to hie my little hiney downtown, retrieve my knitting, and return to my abode, at which time I plan to park my tuchas in an easy chair, prop my feet on a pouffe, and listen to Midnight Special on WFMT while drinking a pot of decaf Ceylon and eating some chocolate rice cakes. And I'm going to knit. (Oh. My. Dog. I believe I have officially become an 80 year old woman named Lavinia living in Ogallala, Nebraska.)
In closing, my dear Theodore, please accept my sincere gratitude for your sensitive yet forcible guidance. I am forever in your debt. If I might ever be of service to you, please allow me the opportunity to make good on my debt. I am...
Your obedient servant,
P.S. How are you enjoying your new job? I can't remember, which job did you decide to take -- Britney Spears' personal assistant, or the one with the White House? And aren't you glad you passed on the position as Senator Craig's masseuse?